You know!, people say; the older you get the wiser you become or should become? Well, even though I love the statement because it makes me feel so superrrr as a mom LOL but I still doubt that is totally TRUE. Simply because first, everybody hits their peak(s) in life at different phases. For example: I have come across adults, I mean real old age adults who are still acting like they are 25yro. Is that wrong for them to be feeling young still? No. but so, what’s the point to critizing such kind of people? Do we want them to act old and groggy just because of their age? What if that’s their phase at the moment in this life? Maybe while young they had to be an adult and now their childhood is just catching up with them? The same goes for women. Sometimes, you may find an older woman acting like she just came out of high school. I understand there are some people who never grow up but there is that other factor of phases and stages of life as well. So, what am trying to say is; it’s important we become considerate of others in our daily living. It is also very important to start teaching our children both girls and boys about what real life is about and what real expectations sound like so they don’t fail themselves when things get tough while they are out on their own.
Therefore, if you are a woman or a young girl who is still trying to figure it out (life and all other jargon’s which comes with it), I want you to learn as early and you can to never internalize too much of these “society” affirmed statements such as; Don’t settle for less, You can do it all on your own and girls don’t need a man. I am not saying to not pay attention to sayings but rather to be careful and choosy of which statements to live by when “society” throws them at you on a daily.
I have come to learn and understand why “mothers need to be the first role model” to their daughters and not Oprah, not Rihanna, not Beyonce and definitely not your neighbor mom. These are things am learning myself as I have been getting older and gotten matured. I observe and absorb a lot from moms and women I come across or who are around me (general) and let me say this, there are some things I would see young girls or females do sometimes which make me feel ugh, unplesant and just straight up uncool. Sometimes I wish I had advisers growing up but I didn’t and I turned out okay simply because the world was way different when I was growing up compared to this world our young children are growing in today.
Nonetheless, let’s get back to thinking positive again lol. Because of so much going on in this world right now and there are so many easy and accessible temptations which could trap our young children most especially our beautiful girls, I have put together this little list that I would love to share with you. You may probably already been doing some of them or maybe they might be new to you. But either way, I would like for you to think about it and tell me what you think.
- Tell your daughters, they are beautiful and that you love them no matter what. But also tell them other people might think different of their looks or backgrounds but that’s okay. It doesn’t change their Godly created beauty
- Tell your daughters, they matter, they are unique, they are intelligent and to always be kind and good listeners.
- Tell your daughters, it’s okay to want to be loved and to want a man’s love and attention. To be cared for as it doesn’t mean they are weak if they show emotions.
- Tell your daughters, it’s okay to be dependent of their significant other as long as they too are contributing in other ways.
- Tell your daughters, they can accomplish a lot if they set their mind to it but they will never be able to do it all and that’s a fact and it’s also okay.
- Tell your daughters, the competition should be with themselves and never with others.
- Tell your daughters, it’s okay to Cry and be vulnerable with a man, but to make sure it’s the right man not a jerk
- Tell your daughters, it’s okay to not be the first in class or the first in everything, it doesn’t mean they are not good. They are just better at so many other things instead.
- Tell your daughters, it’s okay to be a stay at home mom and raise the children and a great family, that it’s okay to be submissive as it doesn’t mean they are less than anybody else.
- Encourage your daughters to be self reliant but also teach them the importance of having a great partner to build a kingdom with in life. Encourage them to understand that the more they demand the more they will have to learn to compromise
- Teach your daughters how to love a man and care for him as that is what will be given back to them as well. To be poised, loving and encouraging.
- Teach your daughters, to be assertive, honest, to respect themselves and stand by what they believe in. To have morals.
These points might sound a lot or maybe they are not but I have come to understand how the most simplest things which can easily be overlooked can cause trauma and adulthood behavioral issues. But basically, it would take your mind to be always conscious of practicing these things.
So, my next question is for you; what would you have liked to learn as a young girl growing up considering the environment you grew up in? And, who would you have liked to be your female adviser?